Mark Twain Quotes

I am a sucker for a good quote...... Some of these a crack me up big time... all credit goes to Mr Mark Twain


It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.


It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good - and less trouble.


Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight - this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one - this is business.


Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.


Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.


Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.


Noise proves nothing.




If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.


Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.


All you need is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.


Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.


Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied.


Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight - this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one - this is business.


Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.


To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.


The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like anything.


When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.


Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.


I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.