Tuesday, November 11, 2008

maybe I settle too easily....

I don't know.

But I was reading a couple people's answer to a myspace survey, where both said they wanted to "be more than just a mother and a wife." I guess I am the total opposite. I don't need a degree or a career to define me. I don't need anyone's seal of approval to be happy. I am totally content with being exactly what some people don't want to be defined by: Just a mom and a wife. My children are my greatest accomplishment, and I pride myself on trying to be a good wife. I am far from a perfect one, but I do try hard! It's a big deal to me that I have been married close to a decade. Compared to a lot of people my age, that's quite an accomplishment, at least in my eyes. I don't understand why that isn't enough to make someone feel fulfilled; to be a mom to healthy kids and a wife to a good man. But maybe that's because I don't lack self confidence. I can certainly see my flaws, but I can appreciate the good things I have in my life. I am happy with my house, my car, my ability to buy what I want within reason. I am happy with my friends, and greatly value my relationships with them. I don't want to "change" myself.... something like plastic surgery would never be for me. Can my body be improved? Of course. But that is just not something that interests me in the least. I am okay with myself as is. (No intention there of offending anyone who wants or has had it, it just would not be something that I would take surgical risks for; I'd end up being one of the statistics.....you know, those people that drop dead because they had issues?)

So is it just me, or are you not pretty darn happy with your life as is? Even though the economy sucks, you may not like our new President, and blah blah blah, surely everyone isn't in agreement that it's not ok to be a satisfied mom and housewife, or whatever your situation may be?


Maury November 11, 2008 at 12:34:00 PM CST  

I am very content being just a mom and a wife. That is all I have ever wanted to be. I went to college, but was uninterested the entire time b/c the only desire I ever had was to be a wife and mother. I feel SO blessed to be able to be living out my dream.

ash November 11, 2008 at 1:16:00 PM CST  

i really liked this post today...very well said...i dont think you settle to easily!!!

Nora's Mommy November 11, 2008 at 1:32:00 PM CST  

Anthony and I had this same discussion the other day. Lord knows we don't make much, we both teach in Catholic schools, but at least it is a job. We know what we can do and not do financially. I wish I could be nothing but a mom and a wife

ashley November 11, 2008 at 2:27:00 PM CST  

I would love to not have to work and stay home with Cole, but unfortunately that is not an option for us. In my opinion stay at home mom's are so much more than "JUST a wife and mom". It is a huge job that is probably a lot of time a whole lot harder than a job outside the house and the rewards more much greater than any paycheck you could ever earn.

The Perry Family November 11, 2008 at 2:52:00 PM CST  

i am very content in being a mom and a wife. i personally wish, sometimes, that i were still at home. i struggled with the decision to go home last year and my hubby is all for it, but i just love my job too dang much! :) all i wanted to be when i was a kid was to be a wife and mother..i wanted children so desperately! i don't understand why they (myspace survey gals) are disappointed in that. hmmmm...

Shelley November 11, 2008 at 3:00:00 PM CST  

oh well I don't think there's anything wrong with liking your job and being content there at all. I just wish more people would say that..... I just get tired of pessimistic attitudes!

dean November 11, 2008 at 3:32:00 PM CST  

i went out and got me a job that pays me to be a parent... i wonder where that puts me in the grand scheme of things?

as for plastic surgery, don't change a thing. to whit:

The Brown's November 11, 2008 at 3:36:00 PM CST  

I enjoy staying home with my kids. I could not imagine missing the day to day moments with them.

bowling1 November 11, 2008 at 3:56:00 PM CST  

I am very content to be a wife/daughter/aunt/great aunt. I think those who say they want to be more are not happy with their situation or life at the present time (and there is nothing wrong with that). I think those people should take a step back and look at what they have compared to the less fortunate who are HAPPY with what little they have.

Life is too short to live your life WISHING/WANTING something you don't have. Either you go out and get/achieve what it is you want OR you can be happy with what you have!

deepfriedpicklesandicecream.wordpress.com November 11, 2008 at 5:43:00 PM CST  

I am completely and utterly happy with where I am in my life,that being said,it a goal,not a dream of mine,to get a degree.Alot of people wont/dont understand why I would want a degree that I may or may not ever use,but it stems from my upbringing.In my early years as a stay at home mom,I, as well as my hubby,ran into alot of naysayers about our situation.Believe it or not,alot of men,specifically, had problems with Jamie's "lazy" wife-me-(boy,if taking care of three kids in diapers makes you lazy...LOL).
My hubby was raised by a SAHM,his sister was a SAHM,his grandmother etc.There I was on the complete opposite end of the spectrum,my mother was single and had to work.I believe you do what is right for you and this is right for us,me being a stay at home mom and Jamie being the breadwinner.I believe life is what you make it.

Michael November 11, 2008 at 8:21:00 PM CST  

I'll never be a mom or a wife, but I can honestly say that I am not content. I have an overwhelming feeling that I can and will do something better in my life. I have made some decisions which have loopholed the progress on whatever that may be, but I feel I could do better. That is what gets me pessimistic, knowing I can do better!

If that seems vague, there's a reason for it. It feels vague too!

Cassie Burke November 12, 2008 at 7:03:00 AM CST  

I am more than happy being "just a wife and mommy" My dream was always to get married young and start a family,which is what we did.I was 18 when we got married 26 now and about to celebrate 8 years of marriage.It's been more than fulfilling to say the least.My husband thinks it's very important for me to be at home with our kids.Thats something that he never had b/c his mom was a nurse.She worked all the time and it seemed as if money were more important than her kids.There is another side of me that dreams of being the sole income for our family. I just feel that my husband has done so much for me,my freedom and my country that he deserves to not have to work so hard.We live a very comfortable life and God has truely blessed us far and beyond what I could have ever imagined!I believe that whatever you want or however you feel just be passionate...God did say He'd give us the desires of our heart:)

Mandy November 13, 2008 at 8:25:00 AM CST  

I don't think you settle too easily, I think you're right where God wants you!

I've been a stay at home mom for going on 8 years, and I've had times that it was all I wanted, and times I felt pulled to other things. The hard part is sorting out what is a selfish desire and what is a desire put into your heart by God.

I decided before my first child was born that I would always be home with them. Though I do work some now, it is all either when Clayton is home to watch the kids, or it is jobs that I can do while they are with me that do not take away from them. (example: I do my writing while Samuel naps. I've trained people's dogs with Samuel on my back in the Ergo. lol)

One thing I notice more and more about people is that often times they are discontent, and the real reason has nothing to do with their life situation. They are unhappy at home with the kids, so they get a job. They hate the job they thought they'd love, so they're even unhappier. I believe this often times come from a spiritual discontent. When we're firmly set spiritually with Christ, life can pretty much do what it wants around us and it won't steal our joy and contentment.

Finding your confidence in knowing who you are in Christ is more meaningful than any degree, job title, or even the title of 'Mom.'

Jenn December 3, 2008 at 10:29:00 PM CST  

I love being home with my kids too! It is such a blessing and wouldn't have it any other way. :)

This is a wonderful post, and can't imagine how anyone would be offended by it. You were only sharing your own thoughts and how you feel about things.

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