Saturday, June 21, 2008

So she's a pastor's wife, what does that REALLY mean?

Do you expect perfection from your pastor's wife?

Here's one that seems to have people think that about her all the time. I wonder where people get that mentality.

Can you imagine, "wellll....can you believe so and so was at the bar last night? I know that was a daquiri in her hand, and she IS a pastor's wife!!"
Well, if you think daquiris are evil for her, they are evil for you, too. That's the principal I think we need to have about everyone. Your "title" doesn't define you. Your actions can, but not your title.

I don't know why members of the clergy, and their family, seem to have a higher bar set. I have experienced it myself, just because I am open that I am a christian, and still make mistakes. I am clear that I am a flawed one, but I do try. Why anyone would think it's acceptable in any way to judge a fellow Christian's christianity blows my mind. That's one thing that is untouchable for me. I just won't do it.

I have opportunities to witness that I totally screw up. I know that. But I am working harder on that now. My prayer life leaves something to be desired, but it is stronger now than ever before. Knowing that my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ can be the ones that seem to judge me the most is the most ironic thing about the whole deal.

3 comments:

K.T. is Mommatude too! June 21, 2008 at 5:02:00 PM CDT  

I figure people mostly expect an example to be set by the preachers wife but I am certainly aware that alot of folks expect them to be perfect,or the preacher/pastor as well,for that matter.
I also dont think it is limited to the clergy professions either.
I know most children(and some adults) are surprised when they find out their teachers are flawed and/or actually DONT know everything.I think they are expected to be a walking dictionary.
And nurses,I have a friend who is an LPN and people expect her to know every medical ailment known to mankind;are shocked when she doesnt and ,that, even sometimes escalates to "I hope she wont ever be MY nurse".

I am also aware that mine is not a popular opinion but I think in general people are expected to be perfect.And that is frustrating.

Mandy June 21, 2008 at 9:36:00 PM CDT  

Hmm... well, this is a tough issue for me.

On one hand I totally agree with your point. NO ONE is perfect... not our pastors and not their wives.

On the other hand, when you devote yourself to serving Christ in the way a pastor does, you are held to a higher standard. The Bible gives us criteria in which to 'judge' our leaders. I believe this is to be applied to church leaders, city leaders, and our country's leaders.

Just in speaking of Elders of a church, found in Titus 1:6, the Bible says this:

"An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient."

That's some pretty big shoes to fill! (much too big for me!)

If I had more time I'd research what the criteria the Bible places on our pastors... but I'm sure it's similar. SO, this does explain why our pastors SHOULD be held to different standards than the general church congregation. It is essentially their job to lead the lost to Christ.

DO I think it's sinful to have a glass of wine? Umm.. no. Would I think poorly of Carolyn if she had one? Nope. Would others? Yep. Why? Because in our society drinking is associated with being drunk. Being drunk is sinful, so many pastor's wives probably avoid even looking like they are engaging in sinful activity. Especially in public places.

I so agree that we cannot judge another's christianity. You cannot know how close anyone is with Christ; however, if we see people claiming to be Christian that are obviously living sin-filled lives, we can be sure that they are far from God. The closer we become to God, the more we turn from sin. No exceptions.

MInTheGap June 23, 2008 at 5:55:00 AM CDT  

Actually, the Bible sets a higher bar on the Pastor-- though I'm not sure it applies directly to His wife. It says that those that lead will be responsible for how they lead.

But you're right we're supposed to be more concerned with our relationship with Christ than judging others. (Romans 14) That's not to say that if we see a brother falling we shouldn't do something to help them back! It's simply saying that we need to make sure that what we are trying to help them with is something that is truly sin.

You can tell which it is by your attitude. Are you going to go tell someone something because you truly want to help them, or because you think you're better and you're judging.

Examining your heart will reveal a lot!

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