Wednesday, January 16, 2008

this is how WE do it, how do YOU?

In the recent weeks, there have been several posts about report cards. My kids both made all A's. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I was asked what I gave my kids for their grades. The answer, is nothing. I let my kids earn privileges daily. This is the only reward they get. I don't "pay" for grades, and I don't do treats. I am clearly in the minority. I am completely a "to each his own" type thinker on these things. I am not the one to go with the flow on most things.

In these pics, my kids are holding thier prized possessions, their timers, haha. Those timers are what let them know how long they can watch tv, use the computer, and etc. My kids got an hour free, to use as they please, for their grades. That's it. No toys, no cash, no candy.

Every morning they are expected to get up after being asked to get up ONE time. = 5 mins

Every morning they are to get dressed in what was laid out, with no complaining = 5 mins

Every morning they are expected to make thier beds, except on Monday, when they are to strip their beds and bring their sheets to the laundry room = 5 mins

So, that means, if you do what you are supposed to, you get 15 minutes of what is known as privilege time at my house. You can use it for Webkinz or any other mom approved site online, or to watch a mom approved show, until the timer buzzes.

They are also alotted time for cleaning the bathrooms, cleaning their rooms, folding towels, and other appropriate chores for their age. You can also aquire 30 mins for doing some nice that is unexpected and NOT asked of you, like sharing a favorite toy with your sister.

My system works very well. Sometimes it is hard to not use the tv as a babysitter and send them in there to "leave me alone" but unless I am sick, it doesn't happen.
Jordan is almost to 100 books on the AR tests they are "racing" to complete in her class. When she gets to 100, I do have a small bracelet for her. My tangible prizes are few and far between, and I think it makes them all that much more of a big deal. That doesn't mean my kids aren't as spoiled as everyone elses, but I am trying to make them value things by giving them responsibilities. The girls can also LOSE those minutes, too! Talking back to me knocks off 30 in a heartbeat. Karsyn has been at a negative 45 minutes before.

So what do YOU do at your house? I always like to hear other mom's ways of running their households!


K.T. is Mommatude January 16, 2008 at 8:22:00 PM CST  

Thats a great idea!!The only one of my kids that is a big TV watcher is Kendall and she never gets in trouble...LOL.They arent big on the internet either.

This will be the first year that we will do rewards for the kids-and it is one big thing at the end of the year for good grades.Thus far,it was do the best you can,if you dont,then I want to know why and then punishment follows.Punishment always fits the crime.I like your idea though,might have to try that but gotta figure out what to take away,or add up for them...INNOVATIVE!!!

RADstitches January 16, 2008 at 8:25:00 PM CST  

We do not PAY for grades! (All A's again today too!)

She is expected to keep her room picked up at all times!

No internet unless it is school related and then I am breathing down her neck... (yes, I watch how to catch a predator (TOO MUCH!) )

She and sister take shoes off at the back door OR ELSE!

She has things that she has to do around the house... these things change from time to time.

Whinning and complaning get her or sister trip to the bathroom.... Ask her if you ever see her what THAT means? Trust me.. she does not like to visit that room and a parent be right behind her! LOL

Avery LOVES to drive the 4-wheeler w/ the leaf picker-uper on it... You really can't say that it is a chore when she LOVES it! LOL

She mowed the yard Sunday on our 0-turn John Deere (it has the handles for each hand) which most 9 year old would not even be allowed to TRY to drive... while Lee picked up and burned leaves! It was so dusty that you could not hardly even see her when she drove by... She did this for about 2 hours.. yes, we have a big yard! Lee did give her $5, and she was totally beside herself... about the being able to drive the big lawn mower.. not about the money and I think that is great!!

Saturday I was cleaning, and she just came and started helping me. She asked what all I was going to do (since our house is pretty big I try not to do it all in one day) and after I told her she jumped right in and had a bunch of things completed before I even realized! Her prize was that we let her have a little friend over from 2-5 that day to play! She thought that was the best thing EVER! It was a surprise!

Dishes go IN the dishwasher when finsihed eating.

Dirty clothes go IN the dirty clothes basket.

My kids say yes mam/sir, and no mam/sir. PERIOD

IF clothes are folded on the steps do not walk by them without taking them up and putting them away.

Am I mean?... Maybe! But, both of my kids point things out at other houses, and say how they are proud that they keep their house clean, how our yard sure looks pretty, etc! How else do they learn to take care of things and not taken them for granted if WE do not teach that to them!

WHEW now I am worn out after all that! And I am sure that I left some things out.

Shelley January 16, 2008 at 8:56:00 PM CST  

glad to know I am not the only "mean momma" that gives out chore lists, haha!

RADstitches January 16, 2008 at 9:13:00 PM CST  

OH and let me add.... If I find out that I am being mean.. that is not even another chaper.. that is an entire new BOOK plus a trip to the bathroom!

dean January 17, 2008 at 1:28:00 AM CST  

other MOMS ways?? this is sexist! i'm boycotting this post! (and besides, i already shared with shelley via email what we do)

Brandy January 17, 2008 at 8:11:00 AM CST  

if you guys think you're have NO idea! ;) i think i could count on one hand the times i've 'bribed' my kids...that means they knew about a reward ahead of time. i do occasionally reward them, but they are few and far between, and they don't know that a reward is involved ahead of time. i do praise them with words...gently remind them i've noticed how they've treated their siblings this week, or how hard they worked on their homework, or how they did this chore that was not on their list. just this morning kynlee did a chore for kamryn because kami was running late. in a large family such as ours, chores are a MUST! each older girl not only has a fairly large chore list for the week, but also a small list of chores for their "buddy" (a younger sibling) that they help over-see, and teach how to do that chore. The little girls have chores, like making their bed, getting dressed, putting their clothes away, or wiping the table when we are done with meals...little things like that. the big ones have chores ranging from cleaning the bathrooms, the kitchen after a meal, washing clothes, and even making breakfast. kynlee often makes our bread (she's 10, and we make home-made bread from home milled wheat berries...all of which she does) of course, i'm involved in some of the big chores, to over-see and help out. so far, chores have not been something that the girls have been disgruntled about. i dare say they enjoy them, or at least they enjoy the satisfaction of having done a job well. they have a sense of being could i run the house without them? and i tell them so. but no rewards. not even allowance.

as for homeschoolers we never had them. now that the older girls are in school, they seem to have this built-in desire for good grades. no rewards, again. and with other children, that may change, but for now, their own desire has them buckling down and studying hard just for the grade itself. man, i'm so proud of them! and i am also wise enough to know, that they are who they are despite me...not because of me! (and that was a lesson learned! tee-hee)

Debbi January 17, 2008 at 1:54:00 PM CST  

Timers work great at our house too, I give warnings with them - like set it for 10 minutes and then it will be nap time, we use them for time outs too of couse. I love your idea, I might have to steal it. My boys are kinda young for the grade thing yet, but I do teach them to pick up after themselves, Gage (he is almost 4) told me once "mom, you do it, you are happy when you clean" and he had to sit and talk to his dad that night about how we talk to our moms respecively (sp?). Once my husband sat him down and told him really seriously that our mommies are special and we have to treat them nice he has been pretty nice. I only have tell him that he will answer to his dad and he stops the bad behavior. We aren't sure what we will do when he have to carry though!haha!

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