Head of Household, Proverbs 31, and HOW IN THE WORLD CAN WE DO THIS!

I consider my Husband the head of our household. When I say that, I have a LOT of friends that go, WHAT? YOU? No WAY! And no, I don't mean he's head of household like for income tax purposes, I mean, what he says, goes. (That's all within reason, because we have enormous amounts of love, respect and trust for one another)

That does not mean that he is better than me, or that I am his slave. We are Christians and in our religious beliefs the order is:GOD-Husband-Wife. This is not sexist at all in my opinion. Maybe I think that because I have a wonderful (yet not flawless) husband and he does not think he is ‘over me’ or better than me. He does not control me or expect unreasonable things out of me. He is the main breadwinner, and I make very little financial contribution here. But he also is a very active participant in our home life also (light cooking, cleaning when he has time, parenting, and spending lots of time with the girls, & etc)
People often balk at this way of thinking. I think it has a lot to do with this:

Some men (if you can even call some of them that….) misinterpret this and use it to take advantage of their wives. These men are distorting God's guidance in order to maintain some type of control over their wives and their households. But based on what I have read, only Christian men who are responsible and willing to fulfill their spiritual duties can be "head of the house." If a man does not live as an example and is not spiritually guided, he cannot be in a lead position. (Someone jump in and correct me if that’s not right)

In my thinking, in no way, shape or form should a woman ever submit to a man who doesn't walk by Faith. No man, Christian or not -- has the power to force a woman to submit to him. Besides, submitting to a man should never involve control and manipulation. Both the husband and wife should be submitting to each other, working together to raise a strong, God fearing family.

When Paul said a husband ranked over his wife, I think he meant that a husband is responsible for his wife. God is holding husbands responsible for us, as wives. They are responsible for loving us, taking care of us, providing for us, being strong spiritually, and protecting us in our homes. Pretty big shoes to fill, huh? Then, add that they are going to be accountable for their entire family!
I think I’d rather work on being the Proverbs 31 woman we talked about in “the new eve!” (Below I will share some of that verse, but don’t be too discouraged at SUPER MOM, cause some are downright HARD!!!) It is paraphrased from a reference site, NOT directly quoted from KJV. If you would like to comment on how it was interpreted, feel free. This is simply one person (or a group of peoples, ideas on how to take this)

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."
"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." Her husband trusts her management of their resources. Her industriousness adds to the family income.
"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." This woman does not do right only when it is convenient and profitable. Her actions are not based on how she is treated by others or by what others think. Her character is steady. She is reliable and dependable.
"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands." This woman enjoys working so much that she plans ahead for what she needs in order to accomplish her responsibilities.

"She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar." The trait not to settle for the mediocre is portrayed by a woman who goes the extra mile for quality items.

"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." Though the woman described here has servants to take care of many of the household duties, she sets the pace. She understands that good managers have a responsibility to take care of those under their authority. That is one of her top priorities.

"She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard." Every woman doesn’t have to go into real estate and horticulture — the principle here is that this woman uses her mind. She does not act on a whim, but logically analyzes a situation before making a decision. Her goals are not only short term — she envisions the long-range benefits of her decisions.

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." We get a picture of a woman who vigorously goes about her duties. She keeps herself healthy and strong by proper health practices — good diet, adequate rest and exercise. Many people depend on her.

"She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." She knows that her merchandise is good and takes pride in doing a good job. Night or day, no one worries that her responsibilities are not taken care of.

"In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers." The example she sets is one of skill and industriousness. Whether this woman would be a computer programmer, a concert pianist, a mother, or all three, she develops her talents and hones her skills through education and diligent application.

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." Although it’s good to donate to needy causes, this means far more than writing a check. This woman shows personal concern. She visits the sick, comforts the lonely and depressed, and delivers food to those in need.

"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet." Providing clothing for the family is one of her responsibilities. She takes this seriously, and plans ahead. She does not practice crisis management.

"She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple." This woman has high standards and dresses properly for the occasion.

"Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." This man does not have to spend half his time trying to straighten out problems at home, and his success in the social world comes partly from her support, just as her success comes partly from his support. The original woman of Proverbs 31 couldn’t phone her husband for his opinion on matters. She made many of the day-to-day decisions about their property and goods. He trusted her to manage the estate efficiently.

"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes." This woman runs a business from her home. Her efforts and industry add to the family income.

"Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come" (NKJV). Not only does this woman benefit each day from her wise and diligent actions, long-term lifetime benefits and rewards lie in store for her.

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." This woman is well read and has the facts. She knows what she is talking about. Whether about her job, her personal values or her opinion on world events, she is able to express herself intelligently, tactfully and diplomatically. People come to her for good advice.

"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." She is an organized, energetic person who carries out her responsibilities.

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." This woman is not a doormat, slavishly trying to appease and please her family, no matter how unreasonable their demands. She is honored in her home. Here we gain an insight into the character of her husband as well. He teaches their children to respect here and the virtues she personifies.

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." High praise for this extraordinary woman — a role model for women of all time.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Here is the key to this woman’s effectiveness. Her priorities are determined by God’s will, not her own. She is concerned about what God thinks, rather than with what other people think. Physical beauty and clever conversation are admirable qualities. But if a woman’s beauty and charm are the extent of her virtues, what happens when time and the trials of life take their toll? This woman does not depend on beauty and charm for her success. She recognizes her need for God.

"Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." This woman is actively doing, not merely talking. She does not boast about her plans for the future or her successes of the past. They are obvious.

Whoa. Moving, huh? Now go look it up in your KJV, NIV, or whatever version your bible is and compare the differences. It’s a GOOD one to do a weeks’ long inductive study on! (Maybe months!)
Our roles as husbands and wives are downright JOBS. How well would you do if you were graded on job performance?

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” – 1 Corinthians 11:3